WARNING: very personal post ")
Soon after Myles was born I had a strong feeling that there was two little spirits waiting still to come to our family. So a year later when we were expecting again I was prepared,excited even. I knew Jace was a boy and he was supposed to be with our family. My pregnancy with Jace was really difficult and scary. I had extra amniotic fluid and was retaining alot of water. At 37 weeks I measured at 43 weeks pregnant I was huge! I even amazed my doctor. The dr. decided to induce me a week early. Jace was born at 37 weeks but only measured gestationally 34 weeks. His lungs were underdeveloped. He stayed in Tricities for about a week in the icu. and they finally decided to let him come home. This was a really difficult time for me.
At my next drs appt I was talking to the dr. about birth control options and he stated concerns about my health and how scary Jaces birth was. I felt the same...It was scary.I am a type 1 diabetic mom who has had amazing luck in having 5 healthy kids. The Dr., Scott, and I all agreed that we needed to do something permanent to make sure that I was going to be around long enough to raise these kids. So a couple months later Scott went into the Dr. and made things "permanent". This was a very hard decision to make. Despite the risks I knew there was one more spirit waiting. I struggled and prayed and did alot of crying. Scott and I decided that in 5 years we would adopt and bring this spirit into our home that way. Scott had the surgery.
One day on my way to Tricities I was thinking about the situation and I kept on hearing "dont forget me" So I started to pray to my heavenly father. I told him that I needed to be around for my kids but I knew there was one more up there. I couldnt leave this spirit behind. I continued to talk to the lord about how we planned to brind another child into our family in a couple of years when we were in better living arrangements and finantialy able. to please help me find this spirit that is supposed to be with us. I felt comfort and peace that everything was going to be okay.
January came around and I started getting really tired in the middle of the day...I could barely keep my eyes open. I went to the dr and she said it was probably because I was exercizing to hard. My vitamin D was also really low. I continued life. soon my blood sugars started going crazy. I couldn;t keep them below 200 most of the time. Then I started to worry because I was "late". I tried to convince myself that it was anything else...it was "impossible" to be prego at this point. Things were "permanent". I had scott go one night and buy me a test, just to rule it out and put everyones mind at ease. It was positive. much to my and Scotts surprise. 3 months after being cut and soddered (sp?), his manhood found a way.
After the shock, amazement and bewilderment wore off, I have found that my prayers have been answered..maybe not the way I was expecting....but none the less he hears me and knows what is best. I am putting all my faith in him to help me and my family through this. It is scary. But I feel the lords love and I know I am doing what I was put on this earth to do...be a mother. I have a peace now more that ever that our family is complete. *sigh of relief* and not only complete...but forever.
Baby Ritchie #6 will join our family Sept 21, 2010. we will keep you all posted ")
Thursday, February 25, 2010
WARNING: very personal post ")
Posted by Ritchies at 11:40 AM